your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
