Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
