Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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