I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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