first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
