I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
