Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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