Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
