I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
