I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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