Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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