somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
