don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
