When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
