Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
