Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
