You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
