His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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