none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
