I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
sex in a hospital.. check
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
