At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
