it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
