I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
