i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
