Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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