Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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