I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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