How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
