please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
