i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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