Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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