HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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