she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
