My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and she was petting her beer can
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
