Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
