You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
