It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
