my mouth tastes like poor choices
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
