His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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