I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
