they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
