i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
