I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
