Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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