he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
