a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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