He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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