I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
