What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
