Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
